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"Why I got out of the computer support business"...

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#1 bmo

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Posted 21 September 2018 - 12:30 AM

"Why I got out of the computer support business"...

Tech support:   What kind of computer do you have?
Customer:         A white one...
Tech support:   Click on the 'my computer' icon on the left of the screen.
Customer:         Your left or my left?

Customer:   Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha. I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'can’t find printer’.
I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says it can't find it..

Customer:         My keyboard  is not working anymore.
Tech support:   Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer:         No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support:   Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:         OK
Tech support:   Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer:         Yes
Tech support:   That means the keyboard  is not plugged in.

Customer:          I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support:    Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer:          Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech  support:   Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer:          Five dots.

Tech  support:  What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer:         Netscape.
Tech support:   That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer:         Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer..

Customer:         I have a huge problem.
                         A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer,
                         but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

Tech support:    How may I help you?
Customer:          I'm writing my first email.
Tech support:   OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer:         Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it?

This one and the next   are our personal favorites!
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support:  Are you running it under windows?
Customer:  'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point.
The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.'

And last but  not least!
Tech  support:  'Okay Bob, let's  press the control and escape keys at the same time.
That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.  Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'
Customer:         I don't have a P.
Tech  support:  On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer:         What do you mean?
Tech support:   'P'.....on your  keyboard, Bob.
Customer:         I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT.

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#2 noodle

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Posted 23 September 2018 - 09:02 AM

Some good computer jokes from the '90s

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