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Here's a story I wrote while at work

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#1 SpazCreations


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Posted 25 March 2006 - 08:41 AM

This is a story I wrote while at work, I work at a 7-11 store overnight, I have time so I wrote this.. let me know what you think.

....Looking up, my eyes crusty and damp from sleep. Light from the hall is like laser beams shooting straight to my brain. Closing my eyes so they can
adjust to morning. Waking up has got to be the hardest thing. Well, a woman
giving birth I've heard is the hardest thing.

I swing my feet over the side of the bed. it seems so far to the floor,
nice carpet under my feet helps the waking process. " Ben, c'mon breakfast
is ready," I hear faintly from outside my room.
I like when my mother calls for breakfast in the morning, eggs, sausage,
toast, bacon, smother it all in catsup. The really strange thing is... my
mother died 2 years ago!! I'm 34 and live alone. What the f**k, or who is
in my house? Ben jumps out of his bed, jets out of his room and down a short
hall where on one side is the living room and on the other is the kitchen,
one of those small split apartments. Ben doesn't see anyone, he hears
footsteps behind him. He turns and in his face is a .357, behind the gun is
a young man, not shaven in weeks and bloodshot eyes white skin dirty and has
rash spots on his arms... BANG Ben starts to fall, BANG again......
It's 6:30am and now we hear from Susan with today's weather, Ben jumps from
his pillow, sweaty and damp. This is not the best way to wake up,he thinks
to himself. Partly cloudy and a chance of rain, a woman's voice comes from
the clock radio next to his bed.

Ben takes a shower and puts his work clothes on, a green shirt and tan
pants, another day dealing with costumers, it pays the rent though, he
thinks to himself. Ben starts his car, an "87" Grand Am it's been reliable
so far, cranberry in color. Ben drives faster than most people, not to fast
but fast enough to get him where he's going faster than most others. He
pulls up in front of the store where he works at (Get It And Go), Ben opens
the door and as soon as he enters a co-worker says, "Ben, you feel'in okay,
you look pale?",

"I'm still having bad dreams.",
"Yah, well I think your a very brave man stopping that robber, and after
getting shot too.", Jen says with concern on her face.
"Yah, my arm is still sore,"
" Well, it was only a week ago, good thing he didn't take your whole arm

Ben starts his register, ring, ring cash changes hands with each customer.
While Ben works he notices things seem strange. He can't see as far today as
he could any other day, things seem to be blurry, not much detail to the
surroundings. The Doctor said after being shot he went into shock and being
in any state of shock as long as I was affects the brain in different ways,
and sight is sometimes slightly different than before. It's not just my
sight though, between customers Ben looks around with a puzzled expression
on his face, something is different today. Voices in the background are
mumbles unless Ben listens really close, Ben shrugs it off and thinks he's
just paranoid because of the situation that he went through.
The work day drags on as usual, the last hour always seems to go by the
slowest. Why, Ben wonders, does the time seem to go by so slow when your
waiting but when your having a good time or busy and not watching the clock
the time fly's by? I know I'm not watching the clock when I'm busy but it
just seems strange. Ben finally cashes out his register for the next person
to take over. Time to go home, "see ya Jen." Ben says as he's walking out
the door to his car.

Jen in the background yells," hope you get better sleep tonight."
On the way home Ben notices that there is no other cars on the road. Behind
him or in front of him, the road is totally empty. Like he's the only one
for miles or on earth. This is so weird," he says out loud in his car to

The car starts to jitter and sound like it's going to stall, so Ben pulls
over to take a look at the engine. ben steps out of the car and out of
nowhere he almost is hit by a truck passing by from behind him, going way
over the speed limit. Shocked and heart pounding from almost being hit Ben
shuts his eyes and rubs his forehead with his fingers. He opens his eyes and
recovers to remember he has to check the engine. He turns to see nothing but
woods. No car, not even just an engine on the ground, like there was no car
ever there. Strange, he thinks.... f**k strange this is really getting me
crazy. Ben walks over to a stump on the side of the road and sits. He
notices Jen's car coming up the road, flagging her down he wonders how he's
going to explain what just happened. Ben gets into Jen's car. Jen says, "I
thought you didn't want a ride?"

"what?, I didn't need one, I had my own car."
Jen responds with a puzzled confused look on her face, "what are you
talking about, you've been walking to work for over a year now."
Ben confused also says, "You mean to tell me I never had a car?"
"nope, I don't even think you have a license. Are you going crazy, You know
you don't have a car."

Ben makes something up and laughs it off by saying,"yah, I was just testing
ya, ha, ha."
Jen drops Ben off at his apartment building. "Thanks Jen, see ya tomorrow
at work."
"yah, see ya at work Ben, try to get some sleep tonight." Jen says
strangely, like Ben's a ghost or looks weird or something unnatural.
once again Ben shuts his eyes and rubs his fingers on his head to help
clear his mind of all the strange happenings. Walking up the sidewalk to the
apartment building he notices over to the side sitting in the spot he always
parks is his car, just sitting there like it belonged to someone else. Ben
starts the car to make sure it's his. It starts right up, no jitters, no
nothing, like it was brand new. I'm going crazy, loony, out of my tree!!!
Ben enters his apartment and closes the door behind him. he turns to find
that same .357 just about up his nose. Ben jumps back a half step out of
reaction. "Don't move or I'll shoot you again. Walk over to the couch and
have a seat."
Ben does what the guy says and sits on the couch, "I thought you were in

"You just don't know when to keep your mouth shut, do you!"
Ben shaking inside, trying not to let this lunatic know he's about to s@@t
his pants. Ben tries to think up a plan to get out of this guys crazy
psychopathic rage once again..."You just keep quiet until I figure out what
the hell I'm going to do now that I've got you, I didn't think I would even
get this far." The man with the gun says with a monstrous voice. But the
voice is fake, he's trying to hard to sound intimidating. Ben notices that
he's not very confident in himself, and that can work in Ben's favor if he
can play his cards right.

The man with the gun is now pacing back and forth like a dog waiting for a
cat to come down from a tree. The man is obviously stressed out about
something. "I needed that money and you screwed it up! Now I have to find
another way to get 20 thousand, Thanks a@@hole." as he waves the gun around
like a mad man. "I owe people, I should have stopped when I knew I was beat,
but no, I'm so stupid and what do I do I keep betting, Yah f**k it put
another 10 grand on the table what do I have to lose!"

Ben notices that the man with the gun is now starting to wimper like a lost
child over some betting game that he lost. " I owe Frank 20 thousand or I
might as well jump off a bridge, either way I'm dead if I don't pay up soon,
do you understand man?" The man says while shaking the gun in Ben's face.
Ben nods his head yes just so the guy will take the gun out of his face.
The man paces again for a few seconds and stops and stares at Ben, finally
the man says, "What do you have, do you have 20 thousand, you gotta have
something around here somewhere?"

Ben shakes his head no, "don't shake your head at me, what do you think I'm
some punk or something. Do you have money, anything, something? You must
have something worth money here somewhere, where is it, answer me!" The man
sounds almost drunk, jumping between words and shaking the gun in his hand.
Ben keeps his eye on that gun. Ben finally replies, "NO, I don't have

"You liar", the man says, angry. The man points the gun at Ben, first at
his head but then, BANG!! Ben grabs his leg in pain giving out a whine that
would make a dog run. " STOP LYING TO ME!!!" the man says with a disgusted
look on his ugly mug of a face.

Ben makes something up and says that his mothers old jewelry is worth
thousands. The jewelry is really worth nothing because it's all fake. Ben
hopes the man with the gun doesn't know that though. Ben held on to that old
worthless stuff just because it reminded him of his mother, god bless her,
Ben thinks to himself. Fake Jewels, Ben's mother always said it was cheaper
than the real stuff and unless she told someone the truth most everyone
couldn't tell the difference.
Ben, still holding his leg tight, blood seeping through his fingers
dripping onto the carpeted floor. This sucks, Ben thinks to himself, this is
the second time I've been shot.

The man with the gun takes off into Ben's bedroom to look for the jewelry.
Ben can't believe that the man just left him in the living room alone. Ben
jumps up as fast as a man could with a bullet in his leg, heads for the
front door. Ben reaches for the door handle, " Where do you think your going

"please... Just let me go I gave you what you wanted" ben pleads.
"why, so you can run strait to the cops! I don't think so. Do you think I'm
The man points the gun right at Ben and laughs at him. The man not shaven,
no clean cloths, don't even know his name or where he came from, Ben thinks
this to himself while looking at the tip of the gun pointed at him from
across the room. Possibly a man who escaped from jail. I really don't want
to die. BANG!!.........

The bullet coming at Ben so fast. Laughter in the air, Ben closes his eyes
and in a split second his entire life flashes before him, His first ride on
a bike, the first kiss at sixteen, everything. So many years gone by, wasted
when Ben knew he could do better. If I could just have one more chance.
Ben opens his eyes and notices the guy with a shocked look on his face. Ben
looks down and he can see the bullet inches from his chest just sitting
there in mid air. " What..The...Fu...." and before the mad man can finish
his sentence, almost like a fade in, a hand appears around the bullet, then
an arm a shoulder and that's when Ben realizes it's Jen the girl from work.
Ben shocked just stairs in amazement. Jen doesn't look like just a girl from
work, she's....she's beautiful.

Jen points at the man who now has dropped the gun on the floor and is just
starring like in a trance of some sort the man fades off into nothing and
all that is left is the short hall that leads to my room. Jen pulls the
bullet away from my chest and looks into my eyes and says,"Ben, with what
all the world has to offer and all you have to offer, it has taken such a
tragic experience to get you to understand that your wasting your life. you
are supposed to be a great man in history. The world needs you, people need

While she says all this Ben still looks on and listens with awe.
"ben you are a great man and will be a great husband someday. You now need
to go and remember that you asked for another chance. You decide what to do
with your time, great things lie ahead for you, all you have to do is reach
out and grab them with care and love and respect." So beautiful, so
meaningful and yet so confusing.

"Benjamine? Benjamine? NURSE! I think he's waking up." The women next to
the bed calls out.
Ben opens his eyes and shuts them again quickly because his eyes aren't use
to the bright light yet. He feels a women holding his left hand and thanking
God for this mericle. The nurse now next to the bed asks Ben if he can
breath okay. Ben nods his head yes without opening his eyes. the nurse
forces his eye open and puts 2 drops of some cool liquid in each one. Ben
blinks a few times and opens his eyes, much better. The light doesn't seem
so bright anymore. Ben looks over to his left while the nurse is taking care
of Ben on the right. To the left he notices the women he heard was his
sister. Someone he hasn't spoken to in years. Ben had a falling out with his
sister years ago over their mothers stuff when she died. They both loved
their mother so much that they both wanted to hold onto everything she had.
His sister Connie looks at Ben,"Ben..Let's just leave the past in the past,
you were the best brother and I want that best brother back." A tear slowly
runs down the side of Connies face and she leans over and gives Ben a hug.
The nurse asks Ben if he remembers anything. " I remember that I was shot...
In the shoulder or upper arm."

"Anything else? Do you know when you were shot?"
Ben replies ;" yesterday I think I'm not really sure?"
The nurse finally lets Ben know he's been in a comma for 2 months and 3
days. After he was shot everyone thought he was dead and would never make
it. When his sister found out what happened she knew she had to get back in
good with her brother because life could be over at any time and she almost
lost her brother.

Ben thinks back on all that happened in his mind... The man with the
gun,Jen from work who turned out to be an angel, the second chance he prayed
for right before the gun was fired, his life flashing away in his mind and
how he's lost so much time sitting around doing nothing when he should be
making something of his life. All the words Jen said to him right before he
woke from the comma.
Ben looks up and says,"Sorry...And thank you."

Written By:
Spaz Creations

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#2 Tarik

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Posted 04 November 2006 - 03:59 PM

Nice story, SpazCreations! I like it.